first tooth and a little heartbreakPosted: February 28, 2011
Can I be honest? Today, while doing dishes, when Kurt called out, “we’ve got a tooth!”, I felt (ummm how can I put this without using a word inappropriate for blogland?) bugged?!? “WHAT”? How’d I miss that. ME. The one who gets up 50 (OK that’s an exaggeration) times a night, the one who administers the baby Tylenol when NOTHING else seems to soothe our little baby, the one who all day long deals with the seemingly unwarranted fussiness… Dang. I missed it! The big reveal, THE MOMENT, the first sweet little bottom right baby tooth spike poking through. Ugh!
These feelings lasted for about 2.5 seconds.
Then, heartbreak. I literally felt like my heart was breaking as I felt that little tooth.
Saw that huge grin on our big baby’s face.
Realized that life is just bustling along at a rate much to fast for my mama heart to handle.
My heart is screaming, “I’m not ready”, “slow down”, I just need some time to get on board. I’m tired of feeling like I’m chasing after the bus pulling away from the curb. I actually had an image of myself scooping that little sweetie out of the bath, shoving her inside my coat and running away. That is until I realized that that would just be a big wet mess and there is nowhere to go where she’ll stop growing. I mean, it didn’t really take me realizing that. Obviously that would be dumb and HELLO who would clean up the water all over the floor? I’m just trying to express to you how bittersweet the arrival of the tiny tooth was. I. was. sad.
I was happy too. Happy for Kurt and the sweetness of this moment with his tiniest girl. Happy for maybe a moment of relief for Elle before teeth number 2, 3 and 4 show up. Happy to add a milestone to the calendar. Happy as the three of us danced around congratulating the girl on her tooth. But sad in my gut to know that these moments won’t be stopping anytime soon. Our lives will basically be a whole string of these bittersweet events. I had no idea how my heart could be both bursting and breaking simultaneously.
Congrats on your first of many Ellie!
This is the kind of shot I was going for. Taken the week before. Look how clearly you can see those beautiful gums.
The morning after. After approximately 20 minutes and 30 pictures trying to show off those cute little spikes, this is what I got. Thanks Elle.
And, since it took me 3 days to post this… I finally captured that pearly white!
I will leave you with our Bible verse for this week:
Psalm 118:24 This is the day the Lord has made; Let us rejoice and be glad in it.